i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
