I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
