And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
