I am in a vortex of obligation.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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