We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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