She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
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Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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