This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
