Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
