Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
