you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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