and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm jealous of your bromance
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I need a beard to bite.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
