i wish my penis had a tongue
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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