Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
