im having a threesome with these popsicles
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
