dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
