I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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