Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
