Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize