Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Everclear isn't food dammit
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
