I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
then he tried to convert me to islam
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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