cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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