batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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