dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
