Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize