Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize