Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
