i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she smelled like a LAN party
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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