There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
