you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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