I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize