Please, let me fuck your mom
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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