1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
