Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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