I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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