Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
