His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
