There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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