I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
