you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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