i don't like sucking hair
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
