even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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