just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There's always time for handjobs
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
