She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
