Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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