i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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