In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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