I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
