Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
