Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize