you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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