Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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