you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
