I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
PANTIES FOUND
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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