Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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