i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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