Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Im part way to drunk.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
